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"things happen for a reason"

it's been a while i've been thinking about this quote.. it remind me a lot of things that happened to me in the past.. my miseries.. bitterness.. happiness.. loves and lots more.. i kept all those mixed feelings for quite a long time.. since i was a kid.. maybe.. i don't even remember about it.. and i've been searching the right person just to vomit all of it.. none found..

but today i just burst out all of it to a friend.. thanks friend.. you are the best =D thanks for being a pillow to hit on.. err.. i mean a shoulder to cry on.. i've cried a lot today.. and it makes me feel so relief.. alive.. my head is as light as the feather..free with no distraction.. heee~

and that makes me think how i, as a person need to express my feelings a.s.a.p if there's something wrong with.. everything.. because it really helps.. and makes a person feels good (i mean good mood and happy) also i can find my true self while discussing, expressing, arguming and lots of ing la..

however, i'm not good in talking face to face.. and i decide to burst out all of it through ym.. yahoo messenger.. ngeee~ and i really am not good in expressing myself face to face (i repeat) but in words.. sometimes.. not all the times.. really.. ok.. i'm bad in communication and still in prcess of improving it.. hope so =D

i'm amazed with people who have strong motivation or self control in themselves.. it's like a power that not all people have and if one have it.. they are one stage higher than the other.. in their personality, of course.. when i can be like that, huh?? hmm~ some day.. who knows right??

well.. this question is playing on my mind right now..

who are you??

it's not just who i am as a student.. telling about my favourite food, hobbies or whatsoever.. it's who i am innerly.. who i really am?? that's a question that i will think for.. not a day.. month?? nah!! years.. maybe lots..okay2.. it takes forever for me to think.. i have lots of time.. hee~ insya Allah..

clues for now.. exploration about oneself takes forever.. err.. am i getting dizzy right now?? i guess..

~ what am i bullshitting here?? ooo.. about life =)